This B’nai Mitzvah Guideline Document is the result of research by Rabbi Lauren and a planning meeting with current torah school parents, some of whom were planning on a traditional ritual for their child and others were not.  Parents who attended the meetings and contributed to this document: Ben Jacobs, Ben Fryer, Edward Epstein, Julie Cristol, Karen Lefkowitz. 

Jewish Values that will guide our B’nai Mitzvah Process:

K’vod HaM’soret (Respect for tradition)

Ahavat Yisrael (Love of the people of Israel, belonging to Jewish people)

Tzedek (Justice)

Achrayut (Responsibility)

Mishpocha (Family)                                       

Kehillah (Community)

“The world stands on three things: torah, prayer, and acts of lovingkindness.”  Pirke Avot

Our b’nai mitzvah preparation will engage students in these three Jewish pillars. 

1.      Torah

·         Kol Tzedek children will learn about Jewish tradition and values through the Torah School.  Students should be in torah school for at least two years before beginning preparation for their bar/bat mitzvah.
·         Rabbi Lauren will set up a time to meet with the entire family to do what has been done for centuries—to talk about the torah while eating a meal.  It is said that if you have a meal of more than 2 people and no words of torah has been spoken, it is not a complete meal. 
·         Rabbi Lauren will meet additionally 2 times with the student to learn the torah portion and work with the student/family on the d’var torah.
·         Students will chant lines from their Torah portion.  They may choose to chant lines from the Haftarah, or prophetic reading.

 
2.      Avodah

·         Through individual tutoring, students will learn and master the key prayers in a prayer service, in order to lead them at their ceremony and to gain a knowledge of and comfort with the Jewish prayer service.  [Tutors will be instructed as to the baseline of prayer preparation as well as work with students who choose to learn additional prayers.]
·         Through the year preceding their bar/bat mitzvah, students and their parents are required to attend at least eight Shabbat services.  Six of those services need to be Kol Tzedek services.  Six need to be Saturday morning services.
·         Students will learn about ritual garments through torah school and tutoring.  Both girls and boys are expected to wear tallisim and kippot at their bar/bat mitzvah. 

 
3.      Gemilut Hasadim

·         Through Torah School, children will learn about mitzvot (commandments), tikkun olam (repair of the world), and acts of hesed (lovingkindness).  Through class, they will also have opportunities to engage in service and advocacy.
·         Each student will identify a particular issue about which they are passionate and design a tzedek (justice) project around that issue. 
·         This project must involve at least two of the following elements: direct service, education, advocacy, fund-raising, or organizing.  The project ideally will involve Kol Tzedek members in some way, through volunteer or tzedakah opportunities or other forums.    

 
4.      Other

·         In the spirit of kehillah (community), we ask that Torah School parents support each other by volunteering at the bar/bat mitzvah of each family.  Support can be given by helping to supply the communal oneg, assisting with set-up/clean-up, and other means to be specified by the family.
·         It is customary for a family to give a donation to the Kol Tzedek Rabbi’s fund in honor of the simcha.
·         Kol Tzedek’s Shabbat guidelines will be honored through the ceremony and communal oneg (http://www.kol-tzedek.org/ktshabbatpractices) 
·         Kol Tzedek encourages the student to make a donation to a charity in honor of the bar/bat mitzvah, if this is not part of the Tzedek project.