D’var Torah, Parshat M’tzora, 5770, Rabbi Lauren Grabelle Herrmann

 

 A story:

After I graduated from college, I was working a non-profit job that I liked but didn’t love, I was just coming out of a relationship, I was generally feeling a little hapless and uncentered.  After taking a few days to step outside of my environment, a loved one asked me a simple question, “What do you want to be doing right now?” Without blinking an eye, I said words that I didn’t even know I had been thinking “Go to Israel to learn.”  The next day, I began researching flights, programs, housing and a few months later I entered the yeshiva, a few months later I applied to rabbinical school and the rest is history.

 Another story:

Several years ago, I had a period where I was feeling especially jittery and on edge.  In a conversation, a friend suggested that I perhaps consider curbing my caffeine addiction.  The next day, I ordered a decaf and I have been happily caffeine-less for the last seven years.  While this solution has not erased anxiety from my life, it has made a hugely positive impact on my body and soul. 

 

These are two stories of change, of decisions that transformed my life in positive directions.  In both cases, I had to get out of the drama of my own situation, enlist the help of another and make a choice about the change that was necessary at that moment in time. 

 

I tell these stories to help us think about times we have made changes in our lives or are struggling to make right now – changes, whether big & life-changing or small & subtle – that help us move forward in new and unexpected ways. 

 

Whether or not this is who the authors of the torah intended it, I find the portion of the torah we just read, from Parshat Metzora, to be talking about this very idea of personal transformation. 

 

Now, you may be wondering: Did I read the same torah portion that you read?  Yes! I have learned from many teachers and especially from Rabbi Shefa Gold that the torah is not simply a text or a historical document but that it is also a map of our inner lives.  This Levitcal section of Parshat Metzora describes the procedures that a person and the priest would go through if a plague, like the leprous infections that are described in people earlier in the text, erupts in a house.  In some cases, the plague can be addressed simply by changing out the bricks and re-plastering the house.  Other times, the plague has spread too far and more drastic action is required—all the bricks need to be dismantled and the house rebuilt.

 

As I read the story, I kept thinking about this section of the torah as a metaphor – and the plague on our house are the afflictions, the struggles, the personal dilemmas we all face in life – for example, challenges in relationships where we want to get close but come up against so much for our own resistance; relationships where the baggage of the past prevents us from being in the present;; challenges in work, trying to decide at every stage of life what is the best use of our time and talent and what’s available to us.

 

And in this metaphor, the possible remedies are the ways in which we can address those issues for the better—sometimes, we simply need to take out a few bricks – make a subtle change, like eliminating caffeine or giving someone we struggle with the benefit of the doubt—when we make this subtle change, healing and transformation take place.

 

But there are also times when we need to throw out those bricks and start over. We need to take a step in a totally new direction. 

 

Of course, coming to these realizations, again whether big or small, is not always easy. In fact, mostly not easy.  Often we have to feel uncomfortable for awhile before we can make a change. Sometimes we know something needs to change, but we just feel unable to do it.  And for this reality, I think the text offers some wisdom. 

 

Here is what I learn about how to create a context for transformation from the torah of the plagued house:

 

Ask for outside help: if you are a person and you notice your house has an infection, you are to immediately call the priest. The priest, having an outside perspective, will know what to do.  Whether we talk to therapists or friends or co-counselors doesn’t matter, but reaching out to others will surely help us gain perspective.

 

Clear some space: The priest has the house evacuated; while we cannot necessarily avoid our daily lives, we can carve out some time for ourselves, for quiet reflection or meditation, we can take a walk or do something that will clear our head and enable us to gain perspective on the situation.

 

Try to make a small change first: Just as the priest takes out only those stones which are inflicted, perhaps we can entertain making a smaller change that will positively impact our situation.  If we are struggling with our partner, perhaps we make the difficult but subtle change of ceasing criticism of the other.  Or not giving ourselves permission to complain about a certain co-worker.  Often, it is only a small change that needs to happen in order for us to feel liberated and re-engaged.  

 

Recognize when something is not working: The priest who comes back and sees that the house is broken out in a plague yet again is able to see that the problem is too far gone.  At that point, there is no other choice: the house needs to be taken down and rebuilt. 

 

There are other times when a small shift will not do enough.  Maybe we need to end a romantic relationship that is no longer healthy or we need to change directions and focus in our careers or in volunteer work.  Or we need to make a really hard change in our relationship to our health.  Sometimes, we need to say “I am going to start something and I have no idea if it will work!” or “I need to give up on this dream because it is not working and find another dream.”  And doing that is scary and daunting but it is what has to be done.

 

This is the way that I understand the torah of the leprous house—as guidance for us in the difficult work of transforming our struggles and hardships into new directions.

In this light, the torah provides us guidance that can encourage us to examine our truths as we see those challenges and problems arise – and help us to assess how we can face them with integrity and courage.   May we be blessed with the ability to see what is not working and to make the changes necessary to enable healing and growth.  Shabbat Shalom.