Two Pockets, Erev Rosh HaShanah 5772

                                                                        Rabbi Lauren Grabelle Herrmann

 Tonight, we begin the Aseret Y’mei Teshuva, the 10 Days of Repentance.  The mission of these 10 days is to enact change: to apologize and reconcile; to reflect and redirect; to renew ourselves and renew our commitments to others and to tikkun olam (healing our broken world).  The promise of these days is equally powerful.  In the words of the midrash:

“The Holy One said to Israel: Remake yourselves through teshuvah (turning or repentance) during the Aseret Y’mei Teshuvah, the 10 days between Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur, and I will regard you as a newly made creature.”   

 When I think about the challenge and the possibility of these 10 days and of the promise of a New Year, I feel excited and hopeful.  At the same time, when I consider all that needs to be changed in myself and in the world, I also feel overwhelmed and intimidated.  I imagine that many of us approach these holidays with a similar mix of emotions.  On the one hand, we may say to ourselves, “This is it. This is the year that I am finally going to -- FILL IN THE BLANK: Exercise more, take better care of myself, spend more time with my loved ones, become more involved with a cause I am passionate about.  On the other hand, we may say to ourselves, “I have been coming to services on Rosh HaShanah services every year for 5, 10, 20, 50 years and I have never --FILL IN THE BLANK: Exercised more, taken up that hobby, reconciled with that family member, made that change in my life that I really wanted to.  So why bother trying? 

Most likely, we find ourselves somewhere in the middle.  We earnestly want to make change, but we know it is not easy and that we have not always been successful.  We genuinely seek to make a difference in our communities and the world, yet we recognize our time and energy is limited.  Given all of this, how do we make the most of these 10 days?   

Tonight, I want to offer a teaching that has helped me gain a sense of perspective and purpose through this season, that I hope will be meaningful to you.  It is the teaching of Rabbi Simcha Bunem of Pershycha, a hassidic leader and teacher of the 18^th century. He taught: "Every person should have two pockets. In one, [there should be a note that says] bishvili nivra ha'olam, 'for my sake was the world created.' In the second, [there should be a note that says] anokhi k’afar va'efer, 'I am dust and ashes.' One must know how to use them, each one in its proper place and right time.”  It is said that Rabbi Bunem would take out each note as he needed, to help build his sense of worth or quiet his ego.  I want to invite us to consider what it might be like to try on this practice, at this most sacred time of year.

 “V’anochi K’afar v’efer: I am but dust and ashes.” 

 Written on one pocket are the sobering words from the Torah, “I am but dust and ashes.”  These words remind us of truths we might always want to face—that we human beings are mortal and that our days on this earth are short; that we are small in the face of the cosmos, that our actions are not as significant as we might hope them to be.  A stark reality. 

 Yet, in my mind, the affirmation of our lowliness and insignificance need not lead us to depression or self-negation, rather toward a stance of profound humility.  Martin Buber tells the story about a disciple who confessed to the Sage, “I try so hard to atone. I try to wrestle with temptation. I try but I do not succeed.  I remain mired in the mud of transgression.  Help me extricate myself from sin and to truly repent.”  The sage answered, “Perhaps, my dear friend, you are thinking only of yourself.  How about forgetting yourself and thinking of the world?”[i] 

 As Buber wisely communicates, this work of teshuvah is not all about you!  Stop beating your chest for your own wrongdoings, as if you were responsible for the world’s faults.  Remember, there is a greater universe out there to tap into and to work to heal. Recognizing our limitations can also help us put our lofty goals to change the world in some perspective.  Many of us, me included, take on the worries and the burdens of the world on our shoulders.  We want as Rebbe Nachman said so beautifully, “to participate in the world’s redemption.” 

Our desire to feed the hungry and fight injustice comes from a place of deep caring and concern. Yet, when our desire to heal our broken world comes into conflict with the limitations of our time and the intractability of society’s ills, we risk fatigue, frustration, and burn-out.  For me, looking into this pocket enables me to breathe again, to remember that I am just one person, doing the very best I can.  It helps me lift Herculean –like expectations off myself and others so that I can set realistic goals to make a difference in the best way that I can.   This slip of paper reminds us that we human beings are merely mortal, that we can only do so much.

Lest we end up feeling disparaged or despondent about the impact of our actions or the significance of our teshuvah, we turn to the other pocket, on which is written:

“Bishvili Nivra Ha’olam.”  For MY sake, the world was created.

Especially at this season the year, when we examine our deeds and try to turn toward the good, it is so affirming to hear these words: For my sake, the world was created. 

There is a midrash that I think demonstrates this message well:

Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi taught: “An entourage of angels always walks in front of people, and messengers call out.”  And what do they say?” “They say, ‘Make way for the image of the Holy Blessed One.’”[ii]

Let’s consider this image: that the lofty, otherworldly angels have the distinct pleasure and honor of walking in front of us in order to announce our  God-like presence to others.  The angels, in this passage, serve us—and they announce our very worth, saying that each human beings is significant because each one is a manifestation of the Divine.  This story demonstrates, in my mind, the message of this second pocket.  Each one of us is created b’tzelem elohim, in the image of the Divine; each one of us is utterly unique and as such has something distinct and unique to contribute to the world. 

 The phrase on this pocket can give us confidence to recognize and utilize our unique talents and gifts toward tikkun, healing of self and healing of the world.  Moreover, it can remind us that we are capable of making the changes we need to make.  It doesn’t matter if we have made a mess of our entire life, we can turn it around.  It doesn’t make a difference if we have said we will change over and over yet haven’t, because this could be the year.  We have the resources within ourselves to do what needs to be done.  This is the teaching that invites us to dream big for ourselves and for this world for 5772 and beyond.  Who says we cannot profoundly make a difference?  If the first pocket instills in us the quality of “humility,” then this is the pocket of hutzpah!      

 Rabbi Simcha Bunem’s teaching ends with the instruction: “One should know how to use [the two pockets], each one in its proper place and right time.” When we are feeling down-hearted, down-trodden or insecure, Rabbi Bunem teaches, dig into this pocket and find these words: For My Sake the world was created!  When we feel like too much depends on us or notice our ego seeking gratification or assurance, we can dig into the other pocket and remind ourselves: I/we are but dust and ashes.   

 The ultimate goal of course is that we find a balance between these two extremes.  In this way, I can see the two pockets as two measures on either end of a scale.  When we have an excessive amount of humility so that it leads to self-negation or low-self esteem, we need to tip the scales to get back into balance. And when we have an excessive amount of ego and self-worth so that we lose sight of others or of God, we remind ourselves of the other truth, so we can restore that balance.  Ultimately, we seek a place of integration and wholeness so that we can walk in the world, full of a sense of self-worth, but also aware of our limitations, inspired with courage and hutzpah to take on what seems impossible while also filled with compassion for our own brokenness.   

 In honor of Rabbi Simcha Bunem and in honor of the work we are here to do over these holy days, I want to invite you to take home this practice.  And so, we will momentarily be handing out slips of paper with the words written on it: “For my sake the world was created” and “I am but dust and ashes.”  During these ten days—and maybe beyond—place these two slips of paper in your clothes or pants pocket and use them in the moments you need them.  Look into those pockets to inspire you to be bold and audacious and humble and aware.

 May we be blessed during these holy days and beyond to be able to examine our lives, to turn and return with honesty and with integrity, with humility and with hutzpah.  Shana Tova!