Dolly/Nitzavim
Rabbi Ari Lev Fornari
Selichot
Sept 5, 2026
The month of Elul is a special time – it feels like the existential bolts of the universe are loose and the plates of the soul can wiggle. We are getting ready for tectonic shifts – within us. The veil between this world and the next is beginning to lift. The day and the dates themselves also hold meaning.
For example the 18th of Elul is celebrated by Chasidim because it marks the birth date of the Ba’al Shem Tov, the founding teacher of the 18th-century, Chasidic revival movement in Eastern Europe. The Baal Shem Tov (or BeShT) was an itinerant healer, rabbi, storyteller and awesome mystic. He inspired generations of students and followers who were moved by the notion that we might live our lives with a mindset that all of the world is filled by the Divine Immanence.
And forever more the 25th of August, which corresponded to the 12th of Elul will hold significance marking the day Dolly Parton’s yahrzeit. I would like to dedicate this Dvar torah to Dolly, the DoP, we will always love you Dolly!
--
Each year on Rosh Hashanah, I tell the story of Reb Zusya, who, as he neared the end of his life, surrounded by his students, began to weep. His worried students tried to comfort him by saying he was as wise and kind as the great biblical figures.
But Zusya explained that his fear was not about being compared to Moses or Abraham, noting, "I was not given the righteousness of Abraham or the faith of Moses."
He wept because God would ask him, "Zusya, why were you not more like Zusya?"
I thought of this story a few weeks ago, on the 25th of August, when we learned that Dolly Parton had been laid to rest. No one was more herself than Dolly! In fact her life philosophy was "Find out who you are and do it on purpose!"
I imagine Dolly standing before the Holy One saying with a thick southern drawl, you did good honey! Way to show ‘em how to love yourself and how to love everyone else all at once!
Anyone who followed Dolly’s life and career was empowered by her presence to be more fully themselves. To love more fully. To take themself less seriously. To be dignified, out and proud in every way. Dolly was a person of tremendous faith. She was a brilliant storyteller and a virtuoso on nearly every instrument under the sun.
10 years ago, just a few days before we moved to Philadelphia to join Kol Tzedek, Tali and I surprised Shosh and took her to see Dolly for her birthday. We sat in the last row in a big old theatre, awestruck as Dolly played more than 20 fully bedazzled instruments, including a piano fully covered in rhinestones, a banjo, a dulcimer, several guitars, and even her own nails! Not to mention her voice. We knew we were in the presence of a generational talent. But what I have come to appreciate is that she was also tzaddik. A truly righteous human being.
Little known fact, there is a poster that hangs in our bathroom that reads, What would Dolly do?
Some of you might remember that a few years ago my family made a pilgrimage to Tennessee to visit Dollywood, an amusement park radiating old time tunes and the smell of fresh baked cinnamon bread.
As a family we have listened to the podcast Dolly Parton’s America, not once but twice through – on our way to and from a roadtrip pilgrimage to Dollywood in the smokey mountains. Listening you can feel that she has a heart full of compassion.
These past few weeks, my days have been filled with the best the internet has to offer - cover songs, favorite clips, tributes. I have been reminded again and again how brave she was, how bold, how daring, how she used humor to disarm people’s expectations and biases.
In one of my favorite clips, Jane Fonda, actress and activist extraordinaire in her own right, and beloved friend of Dolly’s, said, the special thing about Dolly is that she could see the essence of people and she loved everyone. She had the capacity to see the good in literally everyone. This is a capacity that does not come easy.
To put her virtue in Jewish terms, she was able to dan lchaf zechut – most often translated as, to give the benefit of the doubt. Literally it means to judge the spoon with merit.
A chaf, is the cup of a spoon. Which is of particular interest to me because I love spoons. They are in fact my favorite eating utensil – not to be confused with tongs which are my favorite cooking utensil! I particularly like a soup spoon. But in my house, what is most sacred is a tiny spoon. My kids LOVE to eat everything with the tiniest spoon possible.
What I love about the idea of dan l’chaf zechut, is that it doesn't matter the size of the spoon - every chaf holds something, every chaf has merit.
Giving people the benefit of the doubt is said with ease and practiced only with great effort. It does not come easy to me. And I have noticed that in these times, it is actually increasingly difficult. The more threatened I feel, the less likely I am to be able to be generous in my judgments.
This is true in my most intimate relationships and in my political organizing. When the news is so bad and the world is full of so much destruction, when I need to discern and resist, it's hard to remember that I want my first response to be generous. This is where I need to remember to ask, What would Dolly do?
I recently learned a text from my dear hevruta, Rabbi Mó!
She writes, “Borrowing from Pirkei Avot, Rebbe Nachman taught that the work of a prayer leader starts with the ability to לדון את כל אדם לכף זכות, to judge each person with the benefit of the doubt. He explains what that means: to find the nekudot tovot present within each member of one’s community, even the wickedest among them. If you can find one point of goodness in that person, Rebbe Nachman offers, then they cannot be all wicked, and they too are capable of teshuva and transformation. Stringing these points of goodness together as musical notes, the sha’’tz composes melodies out of them, nigunim, which can lift up and re-enliven our spirits.” (Nachman of Breslov, Likkutei Moharan I, 282)
This morning I would like to extend the invitation beyond the prayer leader, to every member of our community, as we prepare to experience the great swell of Rosh Hashanah, when we have the chance to remember that we are part of something so much larger than ourselves. There will be people there we know and love. People we have never met before. People we have history with. That we too are invited to find the nekudot tovot present within each member of one’s community. If you can find one point of goodness in that person, Rebbe Nachman offers, then they cannot be all wicked, and they too are capable of teshuva and transformation. And that in seeking the goodness in each other, we actually lift up each other’s longings, we amplify our prayers, we make the change we each seek more possible.
It’s not hard for me to imagine that if Dolly ever had the chance to join us on Rosh Hashanah, she would love up on every person in the room.
Dolly had a way of giving herself permission that granted it to all of us. I think that's why she was such an important queer icon. In another clip (thank you Shosh for curating the best of the internet for me), she said something to the effect of, “If I had been born a man, I’d have been a drag queen!” God bless her. She was a performer through and through. Dolly was unabashedly herself. And explicitly invited that in all of us.
When I think of Dolly,
I think of one of my favorite poems by Kaylin Haught called God says yes to me:
I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
and she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes
she said you can do just exactly
what you want to
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don't paragraph
my letters
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she picked that up
what I'm telling you is
Yes Yes Yes
The poem is so theologically important to me. The only reason this poem is not in our siddur is because we couldn't obtain the permissions from her estate. But its also specifically theologically important at this time of year.
Tonight we will gather for the selichot service. Selichot is an overture of the days of awe - a contemplative, immersive musical journey, it is the gateway to the days of awe.
This year when we enter, when we sing God we have missed the mark, have compassion on us, Ain banu maasim, we are unworthy, when we pound our hearts in confession, I invite us to consider not just about our flaws but also how we might more fully embrace our fabulousness. To get to know the god who says yes to us - the god who adores us, who wants us to be the most us.
The idea of God such a doting and affirming God is ever refreshing as we read the end of the book of Deuteronomy. These weeks God threatens and scolds more than they praise. But there are also gems to be found, moments when I can hear her adoring voice.
This week we read from parashat Nitzavim. Parashat Nitzavim is the beginning of the grand coda of the Torah. We almost always read it the week before Rosh Hashanah, and since no new readings are introduced until after the holidays, Netzavim hangs over the 10 days of teshuvah like a ghostly presence.
I always am inclined to have mixed feelings about that, given the rough nature of the many curses that it contains. What a hard way to start the new year.
The first ten verses of Deuteronomy 30 give us a very accurate picture of the teshuvah process – its complexity, nonlinearity, confusing, interactive. But the next four verses, which are among my favorite verses in all of Torah, give us some extraordinarily direct and clear advice.
I am paraphrasing deuteronomy here,
“This commandment is not beyond you, it is not in heaven, so you can’t say, whose gonna go up there and get it for me?
And its not overseas, so you cant say, whose gonna cross the sea and bring it to me.
Its very near to you, in your mouth and in your heart, and you can do it!”
And what is this mitzvah, asks Rabbi Alan Lew!
Its teshuvah of course! The thing that feels impossible, is in fact not only possible, but imminent.
Teshuvah begins with a turn, a turn inward to the realm of the heart.
The great drama of this season – and Dolly loved Drama! – is the drama of choice. The power of choice is immense. We can choose to let go of anger, boredom, fear, guilt, impatience, grief, disappointment, despair – and even more so, we can choose to embrace the good in ourselves and in each other - the nekudot tovot. To see the world with generous eyes and assume good intentions whenever possible. To speak well of others. To nurture that which is tov, b’chol levavcha - with all our hearts. Because that's what Dolly would do.
May we, in her honor, have the courage to לדון את כל אדם לכף זכות, to judge each person, including ourselves, with spoonful of generosity.
Shabbat Shalom and Shana tova!
Selichot
Sept 5, 2026
The month of Elul is a special time – it feels like the existential bolts of the universe are loose and the plates of the soul can wiggle. We are getting ready for tectonic shifts – within us. The veil between this world and the next is beginning to lift. The day and the dates themselves also hold meaning.
For example the 18th of Elul is celebrated by Chasidim because it marks the birth date of the Ba’al Shem Tov, the founding teacher of the 18th-century, Chasidic revival movement in Eastern Europe. The Baal Shem Tov (or BeShT) was an itinerant healer, rabbi, storyteller and awesome mystic. He inspired generations of students and followers who were moved by the notion that we might live our lives with a mindset that all of the world is filled by the Divine Immanence.
And forever more the 25th of August, which corresponded to the 12th of Elul will hold significance marking the day Dolly Parton’s yahrzeit. I would like to dedicate this Dvar torah to Dolly, the DoP, we will always love you Dolly!
--
Each year on Rosh Hashanah, I tell the story of Reb Zusya, who, as he neared the end of his life, surrounded by his students, began to weep. His worried students tried to comfort him by saying he was as wise and kind as the great biblical figures.
But Zusya explained that his fear was not about being compared to Moses or Abraham, noting, "I was not given the righteousness of Abraham or the faith of Moses."
He wept because God would ask him, "Zusya, why were you not more like Zusya?"
I thought of this story a few weeks ago, on the 25th of August, when we learned that Dolly Parton had been laid to rest. No one was more herself than Dolly! In fact her life philosophy was "Find out who you are and do it on purpose!"
I imagine Dolly standing before the Holy One saying with a thick southern drawl, you did good honey! Way to show ‘em how to love yourself and how to love everyone else all at once!
Anyone who followed Dolly’s life and career was empowered by her presence to be more fully themselves. To love more fully. To take themself less seriously. To be dignified, out and proud in every way. Dolly was a person of tremendous faith. She was a brilliant storyteller and a virtuoso on nearly every instrument under the sun.
10 years ago, just a few days before we moved to Philadelphia to join Kol Tzedek, Tali and I surprised Shosh and took her to see Dolly for her birthday. We sat in the last row in a big old theatre, awestruck as Dolly played more than 20 fully bedazzled instruments, including a piano fully covered in rhinestones, a banjo, a dulcimer, several guitars, and even her own nails! Not to mention her voice. We knew we were in the presence of a generational talent. But what I have come to appreciate is that she was also tzaddik. A truly righteous human being.
Little known fact, there is a poster that hangs in our bathroom that reads, What would Dolly do?
Some of you might remember that a few years ago my family made a pilgrimage to Tennessee to visit Dollywood, an amusement park radiating old time tunes and the smell of fresh baked cinnamon bread.
As a family we have listened to the podcast Dolly Parton’s America, not once but twice through – on our way to and from a roadtrip pilgrimage to Dollywood in the smokey mountains. Listening you can feel that she has a heart full of compassion.
These past few weeks, my days have been filled with the best the internet has to offer - cover songs, favorite clips, tributes. I have been reminded again and again how brave she was, how bold, how daring, how she used humor to disarm people’s expectations and biases.
In one of my favorite clips, Jane Fonda, actress and activist extraordinaire in her own right, and beloved friend of Dolly’s, said, the special thing about Dolly is that she could see the essence of people and she loved everyone. She had the capacity to see the good in literally everyone. This is a capacity that does not come easy.
To put her virtue in Jewish terms, she was able to dan lchaf zechut – most often translated as, to give the benefit of the doubt. Literally it means to judge the spoon with merit.
A chaf, is the cup of a spoon. Which is of particular interest to me because I love spoons. They are in fact my favorite eating utensil – not to be confused with tongs which are my favorite cooking utensil! I particularly like a soup spoon. But in my house, what is most sacred is a tiny spoon. My kids LOVE to eat everything with the tiniest spoon possible.
What I love about the idea of dan l’chaf zechut, is that it doesn't matter the size of the spoon - every chaf holds something, every chaf has merit.
Giving people the benefit of the doubt is said with ease and practiced only with great effort. It does not come easy to me. And I have noticed that in these times, it is actually increasingly difficult. The more threatened I feel, the less likely I am to be able to be generous in my judgments.
This is true in my most intimate relationships and in my political organizing. When the news is so bad and the world is full of so much destruction, when I need to discern and resist, it's hard to remember that I want my first response to be generous. This is where I need to remember to ask, What would Dolly do?
I recently learned a text from my dear hevruta, Rabbi Mó!
She writes, “Borrowing from Pirkei Avot, Rebbe Nachman taught that the work of a prayer leader starts with the ability to לדון את כל אדם לכף זכות, to judge each person with the benefit of the doubt. He explains what that means: to find the nekudot tovot present within each member of one’s community, even the wickedest among them. If you can find one point of goodness in that person, Rebbe Nachman offers, then they cannot be all wicked, and they too are capable of teshuva and transformation. Stringing these points of goodness together as musical notes, the sha’’tz composes melodies out of them, nigunim, which can lift up and re-enliven our spirits.” (Nachman of Breslov, Likkutei Moharan I, 282)
This morning I would like to extend the invitation beyond the prayer leader, to every member of our community, as we prepare to experience the great swell of Rosh Hashanah, when we have the chance to remember that we are part of something so much larger than ourselves. There will be people there we know and love. People we have never met before. People we have history with. That we too are invited to find the nekudot tovot present within each member of one’s community. If you can find one point of goodness in that person, Rebbe Nachman offers, then they cannot be all wicked, and they too are capable of teshuva and transformation. And that in seeking the goodness in each other, we actually lift up each other’s longings, we amplify our prayers, we make the change we each seek more possible.
It’s not hard for me to imagine that if Dolly ever had the chance to join us on Rosh Hashanah, she would love up on every person in the room.
Dolly had a way of giving herself permission that granted it to all of us. I think that's why she was such an important queer icon. In another clip (thank you Shosh for curating the best of the internet for me), she said something to the effect of, “If I had been born a man, I’d have been a drag queen!” God bless her. She was a performer through and through. Dolly was unabashedly herself. And explicitly invited that in all of us.
When I think of Dolly,
I think of one of my favorite poems by Kaylin Haught called God says yes to me:
I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic
and she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
and she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
or not wear nail polish
and she said honey
she calls me that sometimes
she said you can do just exactly
what you want to
Thanks God I said
And is it even okay if I don't paragraph
my letters
Sweetcakes God said
who knows where she picked that up
what I'm telling you is
Yes Yes Yes
The poem is so theologically important to me. The only reason this poem is not in our siddur is because we couldn't obtain the permissions from her estate. But its also specifically theologically important at this time of year.
Tonight we will gather for the selichot service. Selichot is an overture of the days of awe - a contemplative, immersive musical journey, it is the gateway to the days of awe.
This year when we enter, when we sing God we have missed the mark, have compassion on us, Ain banu maasim, we are unworthy, when we pound our hearts in confession, I invite us to consider not just about our flaws but also how we might more fully embrace our fabulousness. To get to know the god who says yes to us - the god who adores us, who wants us to be the most us.
The idea of God such a doting and affirming God is ever refreshing as we read the end of the book of Deuteronomy. These weeks God threatens and scolds more than they praise. But there are also gems to be found, moments when I can hear her adoring voice.
This week we read from parashat Nitzavim. Parashat Nitzavim is the beginning of the grand coda of the Torah. We almost always read it the week before Rosh Hashanah, and since no new readings are introduced until after the holidays, Netzavim hangs over the 10 days of teshuvah like a ghostly presence.
I always am inclined to have mixed feelings about that, given the rough nature of the many curses that it contains. What a hard way to start the new year.
The first ten verses of Deuteronomy 30 give us a very accurate picture of the teshuvah process – its complexity, nonlinearity, confusing, interactive. But the next four verses, which are among my favorite verses in all of Torah, give us some extraordinarily direct and clear advice.
I am paraphrasing deuteronomy here,
“This commandment is not beyond you, it is not in heaven, so you can’t say, whose gonna go up there and get it for me?
And its not overseas, so you cant say, whose gonna cross the sea and bring it to me.
Its very near to you, in your mouth and in your heart, and you can do it!”
And what is this mitzvah, asks Rabbi Alan Lew!
Its teshuvah of course! The thing that feels impossible, is in fact not only possible, but imminent.
Teshuvah begins with a turn, a turn inward to the realm of the heart.
The great drama of this season – and Dolly loved Drama! – is the drama of choice. The power of choice is immense. We can choose to let go of anger, boredom, fear, guilt, impatience, grief, disappointment, despair – and even more so, we can choose to embrace the good in ourselves and in each other - the nekudot tovot. To see the world with generous eyes and assume good intentions whenever possible. To speak well of others. To nurture that which is tov, b’chol levavcha - with all our hearts. Because that's what Dolly would do.
May we, in her honor, have the courage to לדון את כל אדם לכף זכות, to judge each person, including ourselves, with spoonful of generosity.
Shabbat Shalom and Shana tova!