hineni

For the past 6 months, Rabbi Lizzie has been lovingly preparing 12 Kol Tzedek members for conversation in our first ever Hineni cohort. They have met monthly to study, attended shabbat services together and even made their own tallitot. This past week the first two of them immersed themselves in the living waters of the mikveh and officially converted. The rest of them will immerse in the next two weeks, and then we will be celebrating all 12 of them on Saturday June 20 for what we are affectionately called, “Shabbat Sh’dunk!” (You will get to hear more about this on June 19 when Rabbi Lizzie writes the Friday email.)

Having been present at one of the conversions this week, I was reflecting on the spiritual origins of the class's namesake, Hineni. In the Torah when God calls your name, there is really only one right answer. “Hineni // Here I am!” Early in Exodus, God chooses Moses and calls his name. “Moses, Moses.” And Moses answered, as did Abraham and Jacob before him and Samuel after him: “Hineni, here I am.”

Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin writes, 
“A stunning response. “Hineni” is a pure, astonished, unguarded affirmation given before all the facts are known. It is a spontaneous, unequivocal commitment promising: “I am here”, where and as you found me, fully attentive, focused, all in. And even more, “I am here”- all of me, with all that I am and all that I can be.

“Hineni” is a response of sacred and undiluted presence, a response in which the self sheds all reservations, which expands the boundaries of self, indicating a readiness to receive and respond to whatever experience is about to unfold. It is brave and humble.


It is the kind of response we offer only a few times in our lives.”

I am certainly nothing like a biblical prophet, but in witnessing these 12 adults say Hineni to Judaism, I am noticing that this is also one of those times in my life. Like Moses before me, I have found within my own heart, “a pure, astonished, unguarded affirmation” of my desire to serve this community for another 10 years. Hineni. I am so grateful for the opportunity. 

The other famous “Hineni” moment comes on Yom Kippur, when the prayer leader recites these words as an introduction to the musaf service. Some describe the Hineni as a prayer for the ability to pray. 

Somehow within this one phrase is a whole-hearted yes and a vulnerable plea for support. Perhaps because there is something existentially vulnerable about saying yes, about giving ourselves fully to any purpose or person. 

May these new Jews feel both the call and the loving support of our community as they literally take the plunge. And may we each continue to listen for the people and places in our lives yearning for us to show up fully and say Hineni, here I am!