our kids ask the unanswerable questions

We just wrapped up another year of Kol Tzedek Torah School, and I want to share a few insights from our students.  I consistently learn so much from them, and I want to invite our community into that learning with me. 

A few months ago, I visited our 6th grade Torah School class to discuss some big questions that had come up in class. They had recently encountered a Torah text that was similar to the message of this week’s parsha, B’echukotai: If you do good things, you’ll be rewarded. If you do bad things, you’ll be cursed. And, of course, this didn’t match their experience of the world.  I told them that they were in good company with this challenge, from ancient rabbis to modern philosophers.  I shared ideas of collective punishment and natural consequences.  When I left the room, they were clearly not satisfied by my lack of clear solutions.  And I understand why.  But I think the questioning, the conversation, even the rejection of this theology is core to the learning that they do here.  

We’ve worked for years to build a strong curriculum to give kids knowledge and skills that will serve them as Jewish adults. They learn about holidays, life cycle rituals, Torah and Midrash, rabbinic stories, prayers, and so many other things. I’m so proud of the many pages of resources we’ve created for students and teachers. But the curriculum only matters because students also have space to bring their whole selves. 

We give our students opportunities to share their own beliefs as soon as they start Torah School.  Each age group spends some of their time on Sunday afternoons doing tefillah (prayer) with me.  This is a time for them to learn prayers and to learn about prayers, and to pray and sing together.  For our younger kids, this is about understanding prayer more than it is about learning specific words. This time is playful. We use imaginary instruments for praise.  We chant blessings for things they are feeling grateful for, whether that is family, a card game, or a recent favorite of mine “Judaism and popcorn.” 

We had years of deep theological discussions, where I reminded kids over and over that we can use any pronouns for God, that there are many names for the Divine, and that they don’t have to believe any specific thing, or anything at all.   

Last year, with our younger students, we stopped talking about it as much and instead worked these questions and reminders directly into our prayers and songs.  I introduced a chant for our younger students that starts with the words from the end of the Sh’ma, “Adonai eloheichem emet- Adonai is your true God.” The chant then continues by replacing the name Adonai with different names for God or different divine attributes.  Students suggest divine names and we all “try on” the suggested name, singing it together.  We don’t all have to believe it, we just want to see what it feels like to use a different name.  We’ve used names in Hebrew and English, gendered and not, new and old.  

Two weeks ago, on our last day of tefillah for the year, many of our 2nd and 3rd graders were eager to share their suggestions. First, we tried on The Supreme Ruler of the World. This student was referencing a discussion from the previous week, about gendered words for positions of power like  King, Queen, and Emperor, and sharing a solution.

Next, we sang “Maybe Isn’t Real eloheichem emet.” This second grader said he shared this name because “I think God is really just us being nice to people.”  Our doubts have a place in our prayers.  

Third we took a breath instead of using a word for God’s name.  These children may not yet know about the idea of an ineffable name, but they understand that some things go beyond words.  

Last, we tried on The Dude.  I was so happy to try calling God The Dude , knowing that our students’ theologies won’t be limited to one gender, one relationship, or one definition.  I hope our kids, and all of us, will always be open to many names, to doubt, and to creating space for those who don’t believe at all.

For me, this is part of the answer to this week’s parsha and the reward and punishment in Torah.  God as Judge is one system for trying to understand what we will never be able to fully grasp. Try it on.  If you don’t like it, try another option.  Try out “Maybe Isn’t Real.” Take a breath instead.  Or imagine The Divine Dude. ​