we are saying thank you

Last week I was corresponding with a member of our community, and she wrote, “I will be 80 on my next birthday, and honestly, I have no idea how I made it this far. What I am especially thankful for is that I have lived long enough to feel this level of gratitude.  I have also come, in my elder years, to believe that everything that exists is a miracle.”

I have been savoring her wisdom all week. The idea of being grateful to feel so grateful is precious.   

One of my teachers, Rabbi Sharon Kleinbaum, would often say from the bima that gratitude is the beginning of a spiritual life. When her congregation CBST was designing their new sanctuary they placed the words of psalm 92 above the Torah Ark: “Tov l’hodot l’Adonai / It is good to be grateful.”

For many years I understood this to mean, It is good to thank God, to praise the Divine. Which never quite resonated. But in recent years I have realized that this verse is a reminder that it is a good thing to express gratitude. As in, it does wonders for us, for our souls, our blood pressure, our relationships. Gratitude is water. It softens everything it touches. This week Rabbi Mó pointed out to me that gratitude is in fact the root of our spiritual lineage.

In this week’s parsha, Vayetzei, Leah births the first four of Jacob’s 12 sons. For each of them, she imparts a name with deep spiritual significance. Reuben, Simon, Levi and finally Judah. For her first three sons, she is longing to feel love and connection with Jacob. And names them each accordingly. But with Judah she shifts her tone, saying, 

וַתַּהַר עוֹד וַתֵּלֶד בֵּן וַתֹּאמֶר הַפַּעַם אוֹדֶה אֶת־יְהֹוָה עַל־כֵּן קָרְאָה שְׁמוֹ יְהוּדָה וַתַּעֲמֹד מִלֶּדֶת׃

“She conceived again and bore a son, and declared, “This time I will thank The Holy One.” Therefore she named him Yehudah. Then she stopped bearing.”

The hebrew word Yehudah comes from the root ידי, meaning to acknowledge. It comes from the word yad, as in hand, as in literally to point to a thing, to take notice. It is the root of the Hebrew word hoda’ah, meaning gratitude, which connects us to the phrase we sing each shabbat in psalm 92, Tov L’hodot. Gratitude is about taking notice, saying Thank you for the good in our lives.

And it is not just the name of one of Leah’s sons, it is our namesake too. We are Yehudim, the descendants of the tribe of Yehudah. We are born of gratitude and we are called to express it routinely, even religiously.

We have so many Jewish practices of giving thanks. Not confined to a day a year. But rather woven throughout every day and every week. We rise and say Modeh Ani. We bow in the Amidah and say Modim Anachnu Lach. We sing on Shabbat Tov L’hodot. Science now confirms what Judaism has long prescribed: say thank you as often as possible, and at least 3 times a day.

I can still hear the voice of my nana, of blessed memory. When I would ask her “How are you?” she would say, “Thank god.” She was not a religious person. It would land like a milk placed in a bag of groceries. Routine and necessary. Gratitude does not need to be deeply felt to be expressed. Which is why it made so much sense to me that this dear octogenarian felt so grateful to feel so grateful. 

This morning in our Parsha and Poetry class, Rabbi Mó invited us to read a series of poems about gratitude. Then we wrote our own on the whiteboard tables, beginning with the prompt “We are saying thank you,” modeled after a poem by W.S. Merwin. 

With her permission, I will share Rabbi Mó’s ephemeral creation: 

“We are saying thank you, thick 
with loss and hope and terror, spangled 
and bedecked in beautiful frustration, sudden grief 
and long unfolding grief. We are saying thank you 
is impossible and required, is our vessel and 
our wound and our medicine, our intravenous drip, 
is our dance party and apocalypse and disco ball 
and thank you thank you 
is the salted coffee, postcard to the dead, 
the blessing blundered beside the bedside 
morning news today, and thank you, 
waging its weaponless war again.” 

I invite you to consider pausing and writing your own and seeing where it takes you.

We are saying thank you…

In the words of Psalm 115, 
לֹ֣א הַ֭מֵּתִים יְהַֽלְלוּ־יָ֑הּ׃
“The dead cannot say thank you.” 
Thank you is a sign of our aliveness. So thank you. Thank you.